Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in ccr8's LiveJournal:

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Wednesday, March 5th, 2008
7:38 pm	Home Never have I felt so good in my whole life. You made me so happy that I wanted you to be my wife. Your face, your voice, your touch, your kiss. You brought me to a world full of nothing but bliss. Every moment with you felt like home. There was no other place that I wanted to roam. Falling asleep with you on the phone; saying 'I love you' all the time. Time stood still with you; everything was always fine. To me you are home and I feel like I've moved away. I need you in my life to come home to everyday. Without you I feel so cold; I feel empty and desolate. Without you I have nothing. I feel broke like I've fallin into debt. I'm homesick when you're gone; there's just no use. Without you I am homeless, lost and confused. You gave me warmth; you gave me comfort. You made my heart beat love. You were my home and I could never get enough. So many memories to think about. So many words we exchanged. I don't know what to do without yo; it's so hard to rearrange. I'm not sure I can find another who made me feel that way. So I will wait and hope that maybe you'll come back to me some day. If you never come back; I will not forget us. I can't ever forget how amazing everything was. You felt like home from the very start. You still are my everything; I will always have you in my heart. (Comment on this)
Thursday, January 31st, 2008
8:02 pm	I Remember I Remember The First time I saw you; the first time I knew. I remember it so clearly; it was all so new. Looking at your picture, desire filled my heart. It ran through me, I remember from the start. We talked, hour upon hour..every word fit. Your voice, our laughs..i remember every minute of it. I fell in love with you from the start. From that very day you won my heart. I remember the time that I was unsure. I was unaware that your love for me was pure. But in time I know now, what you say is true. I'll always remember the first time we said 'I love you'. Each day now, my love for you grows, and so does that warm feeling you give me that runs through my bones. I'll always remember the way you make me feel. And now I know those feelings are for real. I want to be with you forever, to give you my life. I pray, hope and want you to be my wife. I want us to grow old together, so that one day we can look back and remember forever. (Comment on this)
Thursday, January 10th, 2008
9:46 pm	deams of you The night falls; darkness fills the sky. I lay down, dreaming of nothing but you and I. There go my worries, there go my fears. Everything is perfect when I feel you are near. Dancing together, holding each other tight. Our music plays as we kiss and love through the night. I'm walking with you on the beach, holding your hand. You pull me down and we make love in the sand. Passion..who cares who sees. All I care about is that you are with me. Forgive my selfhishness, but I need you so bad. You're the greatest love I've ever had. Driving in my car, you by my side. We kiss and make love and forget about the ride. Like we're on a cloud, everything's so right. Every second with you is liek love at first sight. Laying in the dark, you and I together. Giving into love, feeling forever. Each one of these dreams are waiting to come true. Then I can live each one and each second with you. This is what I want and you are all I need. You are my whole world; you make my life complete. (Comment on this)
Wednesday, September 19th, 2007
11:36 am	Love Scars Heart is broken; hope is gone. The battle if heartbreak has just begun. I tried my hardest; I put up a fight. I'm a soldier of love day and night. Slowly but surely my wounds have grown, scars I have never known. I thought many times that I had won. But it turned out that I was the foolish one. I keep pressing onward, even if I'm tired. The love I'm searching for will never expire. My love scars will never go away. Yes, in my heart they will always stay. One day the battle will finally be over, and I will be as lucky as a four-leaf clover. These scars are proof that I'm a fighter. Eventually my days will be brighter. (Comment on this)
Thursday, July 26th, 2007
1:44 am	Breathe You In As I lay down tonight, I think of you. How much I hope and long for us to come true. Wishing you were here by my side. So that I could love you with all of my might. I take a deep breath and breathe you in. It's all I can do to make your love be with me again. Your voice, your face, how I long to hear and see. Wishing you were here, just holding me. I close my eyes, I see your face. I picture us in a loving embrace. I breathe you in all night long. It's all I can do to keep me strong. I long for your kiss. I long for your touch. Oh, how I miss you so very much. To have you in my arms, all my troubles would fade. To replace them would be all the love we made. I breathe you in and I become whole. You always keep me from losing control. The room is dark; silence surrounds. My breathing is the only sound. Until I get to be with you, I breathe you in because it's all I can do. (Comment on this)
Monday, July 16th, 2007
12:16 am	Did You Know? Did you know that I loved you? Did you know that I cared? Did you feel that love that we both used to share? I'm here to tell you that it is true. And that I will never lose that love for you. Did you know that you were the best love that I had ever had? Did you know you got rid of all of the bad? Maybe I could have done more and now I have learned. But I did try to give my all; I hope you had discerned. Did you know that you were all I thought about? Did you know how much you took away my doubt? I wrote this to tell you that it is the truth. And that I will never lose that love for you. Did you know that you were the one I was looking for? Did you know that I couldn't have loved you more? Did you know how much you mended my heart? Did you know that it killed me when we decided to part? Well I'm here to say that it is true. And that I will never lose the love for you. Did you know I never would've hurt you? Did you know I would've never said goodbye? Did you know that all those promises I made were true? Not one of them was a lie. Please forgive me if you felt like I didn't ever love you. I had so much love and oh how it was very true. I wish I would go back, and try that love again. I will never lose it; my love for you will never end.     (Comment on this)
Monday, June 4th, 2007
11:59 pm	Where I Got Me WHERE I GOT ME From the day I was born, I was separated. Not knowing me was anticipated. You gave me up at birth; why I don't know. I wonder how you just let me go. I'm not mad because I couldn't ask for more. The family I have now I entirely adore. But I will never get to see Where I got me. I'll never see how you look or how you act. I got my genes from you and that's a sure fact. I wonder if I am at all like you. If I think and and feel just as you do. Are you short; are you tall? Are you big; are you small? Do you have the same mannerisms; do you have the same looks? Do you have my same features or the same nooks? Do you get shy at the little things? Do you like to laugh; do you like to sing? I guess I'll never know; I'll guess I'll never see. Where I got me. You're somewhere out there; where I'm not sure. At times I wish I knew where you were. If you are alive and if you're okay. I wonder what you're doing these days. I wonder if you think about me at all. Or if you ever regret giving me up, making that call. I'm the luckiest girl to be who I'm with; to live where I am. I believe it was all a part of God's amazing plan. I wonder if I'd make you proud; if I'd be who you'd want me to be. I'll always wonder where I got me.             (Comment on this)
Saturday, May 26th, 2007
7:34 pm	Smile You have a way of making me smile. And it doesn’t seem to ever go out of style. The things you say; the things you do; It’s so wonderful knowing you. I can be myself and not be afraid; because around you, I feel so great. There was a time when all I was, was down. And all I could do was wear a frown. But so far, since I’ve met you, all I can do is smile and feel brand new. The pain is gone; my heart is better. I always love it when we are together. No more do I spend time over much of my past. You’ve made me get over it very fast. I want to thank you for the smiles that you make me wear. And all the good times so far that we have shared. (Comment on this)
7:32 pm	Tell Me About the Time (Created in March 2007) Tell me about the time we said hello. Tell me about the time you said you’d never let me go. It seems like it was yesterday when loving words were all we’d say. Tell me about the time we said goodnight. Tell me about the time we always wanted to hold each other tight. It was so amazing; just you and I My heart was yours; your heart was mine. Tell me about the dreams we had; the promises we made. Tell me about the times we shared when both our lives were frayed. We belonged to each other; we were all we needed. There wasn’t a moment of us that I never heeded. Tell me about the time when I was the only one. Tell me about the love we kept; never to be undone. I thought we’d never end; little did I know. Our love was so strong yet you began to let go. Tell me about the time when our love started falling apart. Tell me about the time when you broke my tender heart. I gave all I could but your love faded away. There was nothing I could do but still love you anyway. Tell me about the time you told me I had to let us end. Tell me about the time you said you just wanted to be friends. I gave you up and let us go; it was the hardest thing I’d do. But just know that I will always be in love with you. Tell me about the time when we said goodbye. Tell me about the dream I have that we could give this another try. (Comment on this)
Tuesday, May 8th, 2007
1:10 am	Could you Ever Love Me? All Twisted in your melody; can’t keep my mind off of you. Thinking of how you came into my life; right out of the blue. But then it hits me; could I just be dreaming? Could I be wasting my time? Should I stop my scheming? Could you ever love me? Or should I just let us be? Could you ever love me? Or is that just a fantasy? I wonder ever if there are times that I’m present in your mind. Or if those thoughts are ever hard to find. Maybe I’m just a speck now; faded from your memory. While I still wonder if together we can ever be. Could you ever love me? Could you ever see? Could you ever love me? Were we ever meant to be? I don’t’ know the future but I sure do know the past. I can’t outrun those memories with you that I always thought would last. I guess time will tell; but there’s only so much. My biggest fear is that we will get out of touch. Could you ever love me? Could you set my heart free? Could you ever love me? I guess we’ll wait and see. (Comment on this)
Sunday, April 8th, 2007
1:13 am	Answers Waiting on answers; they are hard to find. Questions and thoughts all jumbled in my mind. As night turns into day; and I sit and wait. Waiting on answers; wating on fate. Who will I become? Where will I go? Will my dreams come true? I do not know. Will I get to be with the one I love? Will my future be happy or will it be rough? I sit and think over and over again. Worried about things and stretched so thin. Waiting on answers about tomorrow. Wondering if there will be an end to my sorrow. Slowly, I learn that answers take some time. And if you stick it out, you'll be just fine. Current Mood: numb (Comment on this)
Thursday, March 8th, 2007
12:53 am	I know what it's like I know what it’s Like I can tell you my friend; I’ve been there before. I’ve been down that road; I have walked through that door. You say you’re heart was broken and you’ll never love again. Well I know what that’s like; I know where you’ve been. You shout and scream with tears in your eyes. You cry yourself to sleep; it isn’t that nice. Your mind starts to wonder if you did any wrong. But all you know is that you had love all along. You wonder how things ever got this way. Yes, I know what that’s like; I’ve had that kind of day. You feel you’ve lost and everything’s gone. But you’ve got to keep going, pushing on. I know because I know what it’s like, I’ve been there before. That’s what I know you are hurting for. I’ve seen my tears; I’ve heard my cries. I’ve looked at my sad and burning eyes. I’ve felt that feeling in my chest. I’ve had nights without a wink of rest. All because of a broken heart. That’s when I felt like I was falling apart. But I learned to keep on standing. Even when life became so demanding. Take a breath and look ahead, Let those awful memories out of your head. You can love again; there’s so much to learn. Yes, I’ve been there; I’ve had my turn. (Comment on this)
Thursday, January 25th, 2007
12:15 am	Everything Everything I think about you day and night. If it weren’t for you, things wouldn’t go right. I talk about you all the time. You’re the very reason for this rhyme. You’re that cheer in my voice when I talk. You’re that boost in my step whenever I walk. You’re the air that I breathe; the tear that I cry. I think about you with every minute that goes by. I want to be in your arms at the end of everyday. You’re the answer to my prayers every time I pray. When I lie down in bed, to sleep all night long. You’re the one I want to be next to; that’s where I belong. You’re the story that I tell; the drug that gets me high. You’re the smile on my face; the hope in my eye. You’re the prayer that I pray; the song that I sing. Baby, you’re my all. yes, you’re my everything. (Comment on this)
12:14 am	Sitting on my bed, thinking so hard. Crying endless tears and letting down my guard. -------------------------------------------------- Wondering why this just happened to me. Confused about what my eyes just let me see. ---------------------------------------------------- I was too late, I missed that chance. I cried even more as I put my head in my hands. ----------------------------------------------------- Couldn't stand the pain of realizing you couldn't wait. I promise I'd see you; that was my biggest fate. ------------------------------------------------------- I didn't dare lay my head down, because I'd miss you even more. So I cried all night and it hurt to know what for. ----------------------------------------------------- Frustrated because I couldn't do what I wanted to do, Yet I would have done it if I had the strength to. ----------------------------------------------------- Couldn't get in that car and drive; couldn't leave my home miles away. Couldn't take that chance to see you and now I think I'm too late. I wanted to go see you so dam much. But I had obstacles that kept me from making that touch ---------------------------------------------------------- I had high hopes; I had high dreams. But some things got in the way of all my happy schemes. ------------------------------------------------------ I wanted to hold you forever, I wanted to see your face. I wanted to feel your heartbeat; I wanted you to embrace. ----------------------------------------------------- But I knew this would happen; you'd soon give up on me. You'd find someone closer and choose them to see. ------------------------------------------------------- I was making plans; I was trying my best. But I am too late; and now I'm a mess. ------------------------------------------------------- Thinking of your body with somebody else; thinking of your heart that put me on the shelf. ------------------------------------------------------- My heart let you in and won't ever let you out. I still keep my hopes of us even in this time of doubt. ------------------------------------------------------- Nothing can erase these feelings I have for you. I'll keep them forever even if I seem like a fool. ------------------------------------------------------ And if one day you still have me in your heart, then I'll know to come so that we can make a new start. ------------------------------------------------------ (Comment on this)
Monday, December 25th, 2006
9:48 pm	Wait For Me Wait For Me Wait for me; I’ll be there some day. I promise I will; if you’ll just stay. Don’t give up on me now, you know my plans. Give me some time for these callused hands. I’m saving up money, I’m working hard; so that I can get to you; so that I can travel that far. It’s a great distance between you and I; but if you wait for me, I promise I’ll try. My heart is saved for you, if you’ll save a space for me. I will get there when I can; that I will guarantee. Right now it’s just dreams; dreams that I will soon see you. If you wait for me, those dreams will come true. To embrace you; to hear your voice, to see what I’ve been missing. To feel that magical emotion in the moment that we are kissing. Not a night goes by that I don’t dream of your face. Holding you close in a warm and comfy place. I’m on my way; just traveling slow. So wait for me, please don’t go. That time will come and you will see; if you just wait for me. Current Mood: anxious (Comment on this)
Thursday, December 7th, 2006
12:23 am	miss you when you're gone I miss you every time you’re gone. And I think how long can I go on? Can’t I be with you right now, right this very instant? Oh how I can’t stand how we are so distant. I can’t help but think of you all of the time. I do it so much it’s almost like a crime. Maybe it’s an obsession; maybe I’m just a fool. but I care for you so much that I can’t help but break all the rules. I’m trying to be patient; I’m trying to rest, but then I start to miss you and I become a mess. sometimes I wonder if you ever feel the same. or if you’re really just playing a game. There are times when I fear we’ve become strangers. When life gets in the way; I think of all the dangers. sometimes I question if you’re mad at me; what could I have done? all I do is care about you and miss you when you’re gone. Time can do a lot of things; I wish I could see in advance. Maybe we’ll end up together, maybe we’ll have that chance. But I remain faithful, in hopes that it will work out. and the dreams that I’ve been having will no longer be in doubt. Until then, I keep my faith that nothing will go wrong. Please, keep in mind that I miss you when you’re gone. Current Mood: drained (Comment on this)
Sunday, November 26th, 2006
12:43 am	obsession Where did I go wrong? Could I have been a fool? I was so lost in love; I had forgotten all the rules. My obsession grew too big; it went overboard. But I loved you so much; it was all I could afford. I’ll let my obsession chill. Even though it kills. I’ll let it rest till I find out if this obsession was worth obsessing about. Was it real or was it all fake? All this time was I the one making the mistake? I wore my heart on my sleeve. Why was I so naïve? So now I site here and let the distance bring us closer. Missing your voice, your face; my heart bleeding in exposure. I’ve cried all I could cry. I keep asking myself why. Just to have you back. Just to get my heart on track. Until then I’ll let it burn. And wait for your love to return. I’ll play this game of love; even though it will be rough. If anything, just know my love for you was real. It is something that I will always feel. Current Mood: crushed Current Music: Journey-"faithfully" (Comment on this)
Monday, November 6th, 2006
1:55 am	When I think of you. When I think of you. Lately things are out of control. And I've found myself not knowing where to go. Turning in circles and not knowing the way. Things spin in my head; I can't make them go away. Confused and puzzled I fumble my way through. But then everything is much clearer when I think of you. The standstill comes when you come to mind. You help everything make sense; you make me see when I am blind. You are the only one who can slow it down, This mess I have flying all around. When things start to get out of control, You put my life back in place; you help heal my soul. You put my broken life back together. You always help me see forever. I can always find my way when I think of you. Everything lights up and I can see through. When I lose hope and I think I'm done, You give me a reason to keep enduring this run. My life makes so much sense when I think of you. You're the one who makes my life seem true. When crying is all I've done for a while. I think of you and all I can do is smile. (Comment on this)
Saturday, October 21st, 2006
4:17 pm	The "send" button The “send” button I poured out my heart; finished and done. I looked down at the keyboard; my heart weighing a ton. I couldn’t make myself do it; couldn’t send it that fast. My hesitation set in; I didn’t know how long it would last. Why couldn’t I press that button? Why couldn’t I just jam it down? I thought I could do it but my confidence was no where to be found. I got up from my chair and paced along my room. As the air I breathed filled up with uncertainty and gloom. I tried to gather up the assurance that it would all be okay. But when my eye got to that button, I quickly turned away. What was it about that button that I couldn’t press? What was that deep sinking feeling building up inside my chest? I had to do it; there was no way out. So I took a deep breath and tried to rid my doubt. I heard your voice, saying it would all be okay. You told me I should send this letter today. I read it twice through and began to cry. The truth had to come out; I could no longer live a lie. Right at that moment I finally pressed “send”. I sat back in my chair and let the waiting begin. Current Mood: scared Current Music: The Fray (Comment on this)
Friday, September 29th, 2006
9:23 pm	To see you. To See You When the time comes, I’ll be running to your arms. To hold you and see your face and all it’s charm. So far away we are right this minute But it won’t long till we are together in it. I’d give it all just to see you now. I’d climb a mountain even if I didn’t know how. I think of you more and more each day. Your voice, your smile they don’t ever go away. I sleep at night wishing you were by my side. Knowing some day you’ll be here and those wishes will subside. You get me through the day Even though you’re far away. Oh how I want to see you so bad. It’s enough to almost make me go mad. When I’m down or in pain, I think of you and bliss I gain. To see you now, it’d be so great. I don’t know how much longer I can wait. But I know someday I’ll get that chance. We’ll embrace each other and take that dance. Every waking minute and even in my dreams at night, I think of you and how much I want to hold you tight. Just to see you now, I’d be complete. To see you now; how it’d be so sweet. (Comment on this)